


Dean and Cas Meet Portland

by Goddexx Devine (Shinarutobi)



Category: Supernatural, Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Normal Life, Castiel Reads Fanfiction, Charlie Ships It, Coffee, Doctor Sexy M.D., Eventual Fluff, Eventual Smut, Fluff and Angst, I promise, Like their sure is angst, M/M, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV Alternating, Pets, Plants, Portland Oregon, Sam Ships It, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Trans Castiel, Trans Meg Masters, all the angels and demons that aren't Cas and Meg are pets, but not supernatural beings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-30
Updated: 2017-08-07
Packaged: 2018-06-05 08:45:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6697918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shinarutobi/pseuds/Goddexx%20Devine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean and Sam move to Portland. Sam decides to become a Social Worker, and Dean is going to trade school to be a mechanic.  With Sam away at school and seeing Eileen all the time, Dean is rather lonely.</p><p>Cas moved to Portland at 17 and has lived with Meg ever since. They work at the local greenhouse/cafe and on Thursdays they do open poetry readings. Cas has never had any luck with dating, and reads Sterek fanfic to replace their love life.</p><p>When Dean visits Plant Parenthood he does not plan on meeting Cas.  What happens next may just be the best thing to ever happen to both of them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Cacoethes

**Author's Note:**

> For anyone wondering I rewrote this first chapter, mostly because I think my writing has greatly improved and I wanted a chance at starting over. I will be updating every two weeks on Thursdays, because keeping myself on schedule will actually help get this fic on the road. I have many beta readers, but none of them have an account to link so shout out to them. Thanks for reading everyone and I hope you enjoy this new version more. See you two weeks Thursday! Please leave comments and kudos, let me know what you think. Thanks for reading!

Dean was standing behind the counter. He had just finished cleaning up. There were no customers so he had a bit of time to make closing a little easier. He didn't mind the lull, though. It gave him the opportunity to just think. 

Dean has worked at D'epresso café for about three years now, and he's loved every second of it. It's a drafty, old building with creaky floorboards just as you enter the bathrooms. Other than that, it's homey and warm. This place has always made Dean feel comfortable. 

The best part was that it paid for trade school. Dean was going to school part-time to be a mechanic in the mornings. He figured he be a great mechanic, having worked on Baby and all. Working on cars was one of the things he could share with his dad before... 

He was also hoping that having a better paying job would help put Sammy through grad school. The kid was a wiz and he was breezing through his undergrad social work program. Mom had always said Sam would help people one day, and Dean would be damned if he couldn't make that happen. 

So working at D'epresso was great. It paid for school, rent, and then some. Plus it kept him occupied, and gods only knew he needed it. What with Sam being gone all day, and then having a girlfriend that he essentially lived with, there was no one for Dean to go home to. At D'epresso he at least got to see actual people. 

Every afternoon that he went into work he would watch the college students studying. Sometimes he would hear some new gossip from around the town. On a few occasions he may have joined conversation, but he was usually preoccupied with drinks. Dean decided that was best. He didn't really need to have more people in his life, not with his luck. 

He looked up from the counter. Through the large south facing windows, Dean watched as a couple holding hands walked to the entrance.  
Dean thought,  
Sadness begin to tendril into Dean from the tips of his toes. He put on a smile and made the couple their drinks. They sank away into the chilly evening. 

As they left, sorrow took over Dean's expression. He was reminded of a younger happier Dean. A dean who years ago would never have imagined himself here. Would never have imagined himself alone. His grief caused thoughts to overwhelm him. 

Dean began humming. A tune, any tune, anything to get his mind off of... everything. This was a way he coped with the world. He sang. He hummed. Any song would do, usually. 

Singing helped to keep Dean occupied. Having to think about the lyrics made it so he didn't think about anything other than the song. It was a trick he picked up from his mother, so long ago. She would sing if she felt everything was getting out of control. 

Sometimes Dean would choose songs that made him cry. It was his way of cleansing his system. It made him tired, but it also made him feel more at peace with the world. It made him feel more at peace with himself. That wouldn’t last long, though. 

More frequently, Dean would just sing to keep his loneliness at bay. And so he sang. No one was in the café, and Dean was sure the chill would keep people indoors. He began his nightly clean up with "Gravity" by Sara Bareilles. 

"Something always brings me back to you," Dean serenaded the empty space, "it never takes too long..." 

_______________________________________________________________ 

Sunlight woke Dean as it pierced through his small Eastern window. He refused to look at the clock, knowing it was too damn early. He curled himself in blankets until achieved perfect burrito-hood. He curled his toes and began to settle in to a, hopefully, year long nap. Just as he began to doze off, the door to his apartment opened. 

"Oh Dean,"Charlie sang out, very loudly, "I brought you a light roast. I know you need your caffeine." 

Dean peaked over at the clock this time, hoping not to be disappointed. The clock read 9 am and Dean was less than thrilled. He rolled out of his covers, the pads of his feet dug into the plush blue carpeting. He stood to get dressed and looked around the room to make sure his plants were okay. 

He wore a flannel, mostly because he loved them, but also because it was probably still chilly outside. Dean put on his glasses and walked to the bathroom. The mirror told him he needed to wear a hat today, seeing as he had no time to shower. Beanie it was then. 

Charlie sat on the left most of the couches in the living room. Her feet were propped on the coffee table with Dean's light roast hazelnut black coffee. Dean had forgotten that today He and Charlie were supposed to go plant shopping. Plant Parenthood had just gotten a new shipment of indoor plants, and while Dean may have many plants, he could always use another one, or six. 

"It's about time, Rapunzel," Charlie chided, "I'm digging the 'I'm a nerdy lumberjack who didn't wanna get out of bed' look you've got going on. It works for you." 

"Ha ha," Dean faked a laugh. He didn't mind the comment, actually in agreement with her. He just needed to poke fun. 

"We gonna get this show on the road, Dean-o. Momma has gotta get her some lavender and they are always out." Charlie was always looking for new lavender varieties. You could smell her apartment three floors up. 

That was sort of how Dean and Charlie met actually. When Dean had moved with Sam to Portland, 3 years ago, they passed Charlie's room on the way up to their new apartment. Sam commented on how nice it smelled, and Charlie had just happened to be walking behind them. They introduced themselves, and they've been friends ever since. Every time they looked back on that day Charlie would comment on how she should have been using that technique to pick up women, "No offense, Dean." 

Charlie drew him back to reality as she stood to get her shoes. Dean followed her, made sure his keys were on him, and put on his shoes. The whole ride to Plant Parenthood Charlie recounted her latest adventure. 

She was a Dungeon Master for a couple of separate campaigns. She just updated, with the rest of the world, to D&D 5  
Edition. She would complain about the lack of continuity from the prior edition, but ultimately she enjoyed it. 

She would often ask Dean for creative advice. Things like weapon, place, or enemy names were Dean's department. The rest of the strategy was entirely Charlie. Once she had gotten Dean to play a one-shot, just to give him a sense of the game. Dean loved it, to his surprise, he just never had the nights available. 

They pulled into the parking lot, and Baby's engine calmed down. They got of the car and walked through the front door. It was near empty, though, Dean supposed that was a good thing. Too many people in this place and he would have regretted the flannel. 

The warmth of the greenhouse was of stark contrast to the chilled near-winter morning. It was pleasant. There were several birds chirping, residents of the greenhouse who made their homes here months ago. Water fountains were a feature in the greenhouse portion of Plant Parenthood, and the noise they made was soothing. 

Dean and Charlie passed the café, greeted by a gorgeous southern belle. Dean recognized her as Anna Mae. He had been here enough mornings on days where he didn't have class to recognize many faces. It had been a couple of weeks though, since his last visit. With school almost over and picking up a few extra hours here and there, Dean preferred to sleep in longer. 

They walked around the store for a bit just looking. Dean had most of the store's stock in his apartment already, so nothing that he saw really caught his eye. Well no plants that he saw caught his eye. But as they were rounding the greenhouse back toward the café, someone definitely caught Dean's attention. 

"Hello," they said, a low voice sending shivers down Dean's spine, "can I help you find anything today?" 

"Thank you very much," Charlie replied curtly, "but we are good for now." 

"Alright," they pointed to their name badge, "well my name is Cas, Pronouns they, them, theirs. I will be up at the register if you need anything." 

And with that Cas turned around and walked to the front of the store. Dean was stuck. He had no words. How had he never seen this person before. 

His stomach growled in response. Realization struck as he remembered he hadn't eaten yet today. Charlie knew of his hunger, his stomach was not quiet. 

They got the café and ordered some breakfast sandwiches and another round of coffee for Dean. The entire that they waited for their food Charlie just kept looking at Dean with her knowing eyebrows. 

"Have something to share with the class?" Charlie goaded. 

"I just," Dean started, trying to cover his ass, "you know, was thinking. That's all." 

"Yeah," Charlie smirked, "thinking about what Dean? A certain something, and maybe a certain something? Huh, Dean?" 

Shades of ruby began to connect all of Dean's freckles. His face was flushed from the collar of his flannel to the tips of his ears. He had to admit to himself, Cas was attractive. They had an amazing voice. Their eyes were perfectly framed by their makeup, and the purest blue. 

Dean thought, 

 

Dean scooted his chair back and got up from the table. Without saying a word to Charlie, he left for the front register. 

"What should I even say?" So sometimes Dean talked to himself, so what. 

With some on the spot thinking, Dean decided to keep the discussion about plants. After all that is what Cas was probably used to dealing with. Dean wanted to make this a house call, however. 

"How can I help you?" Cas eyes were bright and they were smiling. Dean thought it was a lovely smile. 

"Yeah, uhhh," Dean was about to make a fool of himself, "so, umm, I have a plant back home and I was wondering if you could help me?" 

"Oh," Cas' brow raised, " I can try but it helps if I can usually see the patient." 

"Perfect," Dean smirked and took one of the business cards from in front of the register. "Maybe after dinner sometimes this week?" Dean had written his number, name, and pronouns on the back, and handed it to Cas. 

"I, uhhh," Cas awed at the card. This certainly did not happen often. "I will let you know." 

"Oh, yeah," Dean felt a small sting, "no problem. Take your time, and just let me know." 

"Okay," Cas spoke coyly, "I will definitely let you know, Dean. And ummm thank you. For your number, that is." 

"It's my pleasure," Dean turned bright red for the second time, "I'm gonna go get my food, now. It's probably done." 

As Dean turned back embarrassed, Cas told him to have a nice day. Dean couldn't decide if he had made a mistake and Cas was just toying with him, or if Cas just wasn't interested. He felt slightly defeated, but thought to himself 

 

"How'd it go?" Charlie asked as Dean sat down. She took a bite out of her breakfast sandwich. 

"I don't really know," Dean confessed, "they didn't say no I guess, but they also didn't say yes." 

Charlie nodded her head, a string of cheddar dangled between her mouth and her sandwich. She left Dean alone after that. Charlie knew Dean long enough now to understand when he didn't want to talk about something. 

The rest of the time they ate in silence. Once Dean had finished his coffee they went back to the greenhouse. This time it was just so Charlie could pick out what she wanted and go. Dean decided it would be better to start the car, to avoid seeing Cas again. Charlie made her purchase quickly and they left. 

The rest of Dean's day was a bore. He watched some Dr. Sexy reruns and made a pie. He cleaned the house top to bottom. Then he made himself some lunch and got ready for work. He knew he would be singing a lot that night. If not to get his mind off Cas, then definitely to distract him from overthinking the whole scenario. 

"Georgia, Georgia," Dean began to croon to an, once again empty room, "the whole day through, an' just an old sweet song keeps Georgia on my mind..." It would be a long shift for Dean


	2. Agog

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The couch in Castiel's apartment sat against the wall opposite their balcony. There they were, sitting in the divot of the worn tan sectional. Cas was staring at their phone. Small noises came from their throat as they began curling in on themselves, a sure sign that they were reading something fluffy, and Sterek. In fact, it was The Witching Hour by MellytheHun. They were completely engrossed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A couple notes:  
> 1) I am happy to admit that I am really staying on top things!  
> 2) All names not from the shows Supernatural or Teen Wolf are personal friends who asked to be in this fic, and who am I to say no.  
> 3) This is not supposed to be a happy fic, I hope y'all know that by now  
> 4) this is my mental picture of Crowley for reference  
> (https://www.pinterest.com/pin/366339750923899081/)

The couch in Castiel's apartment sat against the wall opposite their balcony. There they were, sitting in the divot of the worn tan sectional. Cas was staring at their phone. Small noises came from their throat as they began curling in on themselves, a sure sign that they were reading something fluffy, and Sterek. In fact, it was The Witching Hour by MellytheHun. They were completely engrossed. 

From the closest bathroom, the shower had just been turned off. Meg was running late for work, no doubt. Cas and Meg had been living together since Cas had made their way to Portland at the ripe old age o'17. Meg had moved here about a year and a half prior, and they were close high school friends. Cas was the first person with whom Meg had confided in when she started to transition, and she was the first person whom Cas had told about being non-binary and queer. They had always been close. 

The bathroom door opened and out walked Meg, scrubs adorned and hair in a towel. She walked out to the living room while cleaning her ears. As soon as she saw Cas curled up on the couch, she knew. 

"Do they get married in this one," Meg inquired, "cause the last time you read one where they got married, you cried."  
"No, but oh it's just..." Cas began.  
"I'm just givin' you shit ," Meg tried to calm Cas, " you know I think it's adorable when you sit there and squee in your little couch corner." 

Cas turned beet red. It's true they did this frequently, but they weren't exactly having much luck in the dating department. Fanfic was a way to replace that would be partner-perfect. Cas imagined Dean then, recalling the conversation from a day ago. Cas had thought about how easy it was to dismiss those freckles. He wouldn't really be interested in me, Cas thought, he would probably just get bored of me. 

"Hey, listen," Meg started from the kitchen, opening the fridge and grabbing her lunch, "could you feed Crowley before you go to work?" 

As if beckoned, the cat leapt to Castiel's side, curling into a little foot warmer. 

"Yeah, no problem," Cas responded, a little distant.  
"Thanks, boo," Meg said, ruffling Cas' hair, "Pride and Prejudice tonight?"  
"Sure," Cas said, it being their favorite movie and all, "have fun at work. You should give me an update on Daisy, too!" 

The shelter dog, Daisy, was Cas' favorite right now. She was a spunky pit mix, and she was so loving. Cas often visits Meg when she is working there, but mostly to see Daisy. 

"I will," Meg responded, opening the door to leave, "and you have fun with your orchids," a stab at the fact that Cas still can't get the orchids to bloom at work. 

And with that, Meg was off, doors slamming on the way out. 

Silence. 

"Murp!" 

Crowley's 'meow' never ceased to make Cas giggle. Cas begins scooping up the cat and rubbing under his chin. Immediate purring ensues. 

With Meg working at an animal shelter, she usually fostered all of the animals that looked the dopiest, or like the underdogs. Well, not under'dogs'. Meg didn't like dogs, they were the only animal she wasn't overly fond of. She could admit when they were cute, but didn't like how loud they could be. So really Meg would foster the under'animals'. And Crowley was no exception. 

Meg originally fostered Crowley. Quickly enough though, Crowley's little tongue which Meg referred to as his "constant blep," and blazing orange eyes earned him a permanent residence with Meg and Cas. 

Cas didn't mind the fluffy cat. Honestly, Cas was really attached to this kitty. Often it felt as though Crowley just really listened to Cas, in a non-weird personification kind of way. 

Sitting on the couch, cuddling the black fluffball, Cas finishes reading their fic, becoming more and more ball-like as the story becomes more and more fluff-tastic. Basking in the final words, Cas just sat there listening to the lulling rhythm of Crowley, stroking under his chin and behind his ears. 

Signaling the end of this luxury, Crowley raised his paw to Cas' nostril. Looking into Cas' eyes Crowley began speaking. Just a couple calm "Murp's." 

"You're right Crowley," Cas said, "I should get ready for work." 

With no response from the cat, Cas put Crowley on the hardwood flooring. Crowley took several steps, and, as if unable to go any further, plopped to the ground. Cas' smile is warm and soft, and his laugh lines crinkle just at the edges of his tired blue eyes. 

Cas walked back to their room. The apartment was a decent size. Two-bed, two-bath, and a balcony, on the third floor of their building. Cas' room was the furthest in, down the hallway. 

The room was a jungle. A 3 foot peace lily stood in the far corner. Two broad white blooms bigger than Cas' hand stood out amongst the waxy green foliage. Above it hung a bridal veil just a little gangly, post-bloom. There several spider plants, some in bloom, already spawning. And just on the inside of their window sill, Cas had been training a variety of ivy to climb the window trim to one side, giving an enchanting appearance to the light that filtered through. 

Looking over the rest of the plants from the center of the room, Cas began to strip down. It was time for a shower. Conveniently, they never had to leave their room, as it had a half bath attached. This was a perfect setup, and probably Cas' favorite aspect of their room. 

Meg often went to work too early for Cas' liking. Having to be at work by 9 am was just unreasonable to Cas' eyes. The fact that Meg could get ready and Cas never had to hear her was ideal. 

The downside, however, was that Cas' bathroom was dinky. The shower was cold and entirely tile, not to mention only big enough for one person to be under the showerhead, or two people to be pressed up against either wall of the shower, barely. The sink had no counter, the only lights were on either side of the mirror and tiny, and the only window was nonexistent. But really, Cas coped and made the most of the space with some pink arrowheads and a dwarf snake plant. 

Cas entered the bathroom to look at theirself in the mirror. They haven't shaven, and at this point decided the subtle stubble only added to the smokey eye. So forgoing a shave, they simply got in the shower. They hummed as the steam rolled out that kink that always formed just below Cas' right shoulder blade. 

After they dried off and dressed up, Cas went with a purple glitter today. The complement to their blue eyes made their irises stand out sharply. They finished their make up, and did another once over. What if Dean comes in today, they blushed. Cas shook the thought, as they remembered the reason Dean even gave them his number. Cas sighed and exited to the living room. 

Crowley was playing with one of his toys on the ground. It was one of those balls, hollowed out with little bells on the inside. The jingles were faint but present as Crowley bapped it around the room. 

Cas had started to water the plants all around the living room. They took special care to avoid stepping on the cat, as he had decided to attack Cas' feet. 

As they finished the watering, Cas noticed the reprieve the cat had given them. They took the opportunity to move to the kitchen. it was time to feed Crowley. This was usually made especially difficult when Crowley hovered near the person feeding him. The fact that Cas was being left alone was odd. 

From in the living room bolted Crowley, chasing a wad of crumpled paper. 

"Whatcha got there, kitty," Cas asked as they swooped in, and plucked the wad from the floor. 

Opening it, Cas realized they were the one to crinkle it up and toss it. This was Dean's number. Cas had weighed the paper in their hands. It was just a business card from their work, something they saw everyday, almost. But seeing Dean's handwriting after a long day of work had made Cas upset. They thought it might be just a joke. That was a short lived idea, realizing that they weren't in high school anymore. Nonetheless, it upset them. 

"Are you trying to tell me something," Cas asked. 

Crowley noticed the food dish, and began to chew and purr. Cas knelt down and rubbed Crowley's head. 

"But what if he doesn't get the whole gender thing," Cas pondered aloud. 

Crowley continued to purr only looking up toward Cas for a second. Cas pocketed the number. 

"No, you're right," Cas conceded, "he seemed quite honest about that." 

Cas stood, now stuck thinking about their options. Should I go for it, Cas asked theirself, I mean would it hurt to call? 

Cas' thoughts continued like this on the walk to work. A short trip, maybe 20 minutes, tops. 

Entering the balmy greenhouse, Plant Parenthood, was a stark contrast from the chilling world. Cas was a barista, cashier, and plant savant. That made their job quite enjoyable. Plant Parenthood was a perfect mix of everything Cas loved. Tending to the plants, drinking coffee, and having it out with the local college students about flaws in their understandings of religious text involving queer identity, were Cas' shtick. 

The first face to greet Cas was their coworker, Anna Mae, a cute little waitress who often ran the café single handedly. Anna Mae would tell you how it's going to go with a smile and flawless... everything. She took shit from no man, all while being so supportive to her friends. Cas was one of those friends. 

"Hey babe," Anna Mae sang in Cas' direction, "I was just talking about you. How have you been?" 

Cas was always taken aback by just how much Anna Mae made them feel appreciated. She was always listening to Cas, helping Cas proof their poetry, and on the occasion that Cas got around to it, even beta reading some of their fic. It seemed odd in that moment how those things could mean so much to Cas, but they did. 

In that moment, a ginger top came to meet Cas' chest in a hug. Cas embraced Anna Mae. 

"I've been better," Cas began to vocalize their common mantra.  
"...you've been worse," Anna Mae finished, "So then you didn't do anything with that boy from yesterday." 

Anna Mae was also concise. Her eyebrows piqued, curious to be sure. She always hoped Cas would settle down and share all of the romantic sap with her. Nothing got passed her notice. 

A year ago, when Cas had met Anna Mae, she had tried to set Cas up with some guy from one of her education courses at the university. It didn't turn out well, not when the guy walked out on Cas upon finding out Cas' gender. Anna Mae apologized profusely, vowing off assholes and ignoring the man in her class. Ever since she has been trying to help Cas in the romance department, even if some methods are slightly unorthodox. 

"I saw that he gave you his number," Anna Mae added, "you did call him, right?" 

Silence ushered from Cas' lips as rose colored their cheeks. 

"Castiel," Anna Mae chastised, "I know you are not about to let that adorable man down."  
"Let him down," Castiel huffed, " I would let him down by seeing him. Look at me." 

Anna Mae took a step back and surveyed Castiel, knowing all too well this was one of Cas' defense mechanisms. They had been turned down so much and hated so much for who they were, sometimes they couldn't be consoled. So Anna Mae simply stepped forward and tried to give Cas every ounce of love she could through this warm hug. 

After the hug had ended, they dropped the subject. Work began and ultimately, it was a doldrum. The damned orchids Cas had been trying to get to bloom had begun to wilt from the heat last night. The café ran out of white chocolate drizzle. Customers only came to drink coffee and meet up for lunches all day. 

Cas had made two plant sales all afternoon. One was to a guy looking for an arranged basket for his wife. He had apparently tipped the basket over that his wife originally had while vacuuming. 

The second customer came in to purchase the sole sunflower, which Cas had named Ben, sitting in the greenhouse. They were his daughter's favorite and she had just passed away after fighting childhood leukemia. He got it in hopes of having it at the funeral, and then cutting the flower and burying it with her. Cas teared up at that one, but helped the man without making him upset, and received a teary eyed hug afterward. 

Working here, Cas had heard some stories. It was just another part of their job that they loved. Hearing who people were, or what plants meant to them. Sometimes it just made Cas' heart burst. But some of the stories came from Thursday night Open Poetry. So wrought with angst or love. Some so raw that Cas would actually bawl. That was Cas strived for in their poems, reality so raw anyone could understand it. 

Thinking about "reality" brought Cas back to thinking about Dean. What were they gonna do? Calling him surely wouldn't hurt, Cas thought, but really I would just be wasting his time. But if that were true, would he have really given me his number? And that was the thought that made it kind of click for Cas. 

Everyone that Cas had seen prior was either coaxed into seeing them, or Cas had initiated. So perhaps Dean really did want to see Cas. He was forward enough, and Cas had flirted back only for the man to take it a step further. Maybe this could be something, Cas thought, maybe. 

With that, Cas' mind was made up. On their last break, Cas took the number out of their pocket. Uncrumpling the card, they typed the number into their phone. The moment of truth. 

First ring. 

Second ring. 

Third ring. 

"Hello?" Dean's gruff greeting made Cas shiver.  
"Hello Dean." Cas replied in such a natural way.  
"Cas?" Dean said, surprise filling his tone, "Oh hey, uh how you doing?"  
"I'm um, I'm good," Cas responded, caught off guard by such a simple question, "and how have you been?"  
"Good, good, yeah," the other man sighed on the last bit, "just starting break."  
"I also started break," Cas smiled, "what a coincidence?"  
"Yeah," Dean scratched his head, "So, listen." 

A sense of dread filled Cas. They knew it was too good to be true. 

"I get why you didn't call right away," Dean cleared his throat, "I get it."  
"Oh," Cas started, "why is that?"  
"You aren't interested," Dean's teeth clenched, "I mean who would be, really."  
"No, I..." Cas pushed, "I thought you were just going to get bored of me Dean, I'm not exactly dating material." 

Cas' heart dropped at the silence filling the line. 

"Cas," Dean began, "look I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make this all sad. I am still totally interested in you, that is, if you'll have me?" 

Cas didn't imagine someone saying their name could make them feel so much. 

"I would," Cas paused, was this really happening? "I would really like that, Dean."  
"Awesome," Dean shouted. Cas could hear what sounded like an elbow hitting a table on the other end. "How do burgers sound?"  
"That sounds great, Dean." Cas' voice was soft and they were smiling.  
"Great, I know this awesome diner. They have the best burgers and pies you have ever eaten," Dean continued, "Does Thursday work for you? Around 7 pm?" 

Cas never missed a Thursday poetry night, but he didn't have anything prepared. Usually he didn't work Thursday nights so he could speak or sometimes fill in for the MC. They decided that, this once, something was more important. 

With their mind made up, Cas agreed. Dean arranged to pick Cas up at their place, and take them to Court'n'House. And then the call was over. 

Cas was still reeling from the fact that they just agreed to a date, when who should approach but one southern belle. Anna Mae saw Cas' smile. She looked at them, raised her eyebrows, and when Cas nodded, gave them a massive hug. 

"I'm so proud of you," Anna Mae cooed in Cas' ear, "he is gonna love everything about you, honey bee."


	3. Epiphany

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took like, six months to actually get around to updating, but life happens, and I don't have to hold myself accountable if it's something I love doing. (Aka, this is the life I am telling myself to feel better being that fic writer). I really hope you enjoy it and I definitely hope you either share or comment or something because like motivation is a hard thing to just like keep around...Thanks, yo!

Sam heard the door click. The thwack of shoes being tossed on their soles met his ear. He listened for a second pair and hoped he wouldn't startle an unexpected guest. After all, this was the first time that Dean had been on an actual date in about a year and a half, if Sam remembered correctly. It wouldn't be surprising if he decided to bring them home with him. The second pair of shoes, as it were, did not drop. 

Sam was sitting on the couch, open text books and scribbled-on note paper scattered over the chipped and worn out coffee table. As Dean entered the room, he cleared his throat. This drew Sam's attention, not that he wasn't already aware of Dean's presence.

Sam looked at Dean then. Expectantly. He had waited all night just to hear about his brother's date, and Dean had better spill. Sam raised a brow, a sure signal for, 'so, how'd it go?' Dean said nothing and instead blushed, keeping himself composed. 

Sam watched Dean as he walked into the kitchen, opened the fridge, and retrieved a Ramune. Sam remembered when Dean and Charlie went shopping last week and purchased the fizzy Japanese beverage. Dean and Charlie argued for 20 minutes about which flavors of the drink were worth buying in bulk. Charlie had won Dean over, of course, or Dean would not be drinking the strawberry variety right now.

A thwump sounded from Sam's right, as Dean plopped down on the couch. Then, silence. For 15 solid minutes. Sam had the willpower to wait Dean out though. At least, he thought he did. Instead of being able to sweat it out though, Sam cracked.

"Are you gonna tell me how it went, or..." Sam asked, having had it with the stern silence.

"God, Sammy," Dean expelled, exasperated, "it was fine. It was whatever, okay?"

The one thing Sam has never understood about Dean, is how he can be so emotionally constipated. It had always been like this, of course. So, Sam figured there was no changing Dean now. Sam just learned to talk around emotions and instead, targeted the situation rather than the feeling.

To Sam's surprise, Dean opened up.

"I was so nervous, Sammy…" Dean confessed. "I just… God it has been forever since I had a date."

"Sammy," Dean's voice snapped Sam back to the conversation at hand, "you shoulda seen their eyes, man. I just got so lost in them."

"So," Sam cut in, "what did you do? Where did you take them?"

Dean let out a chuckle. His cheeks took their prior rosy hue, and took a swig of his drink.

"I tried to take them to Court'n'House," Dean began, "but turns out, Thursdays are apparently the worst days to go there."

"Wow," Sam said, genuinely surprised, knowing how small the burger joint was, "never would have guessed."

"Yeah, well, neither would I." Dean tilted his head then, wearing a dopey grin. "Cas didn't get uppity or anything though. In fact, they offered up their Poetry Night as the replacement date."

Sam watched as his brother's eyes shifted between his drink and a spot on his hand. Sam remembered the last time Dean wore any kind of look like that one. It was the same look that Joe Biden gave to President Obama. The thought that Dean might have started getting over his past made Sam smile in like.

"You know," Dean gushed, "Cas got up there and did this whole opening piece, and I just couldn't stop staring, Sammy. Every word that came out of their mouth; I was hangin' on it."

And it was in that moment that Sam knew. Sam knew just how good Cas could end up being for Dean. He was elated. 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And it was in that moment that Meg knew. Meg knew just how good Dean could end up being for Cas. She was terrified. 

She worried her lip. The tang of copper tinged her tongue as Cas told her of the date. "And then, we went to Poetry night," Cas beamed, reminiscing the evening. Meg had stopped listening, though. Her mind raced; thoughts elsewhere.

"I just went with what I had available," Cas continued, one sided conversation floating out of their mouth, rising up on the euphoria that was the date. "It was just something that I had on hand, but no one really cares what I read up there. I could probably read a grocery list and it would be considered real… hip, or whatever."

Meg, finally coming back to reading the words that she realized were falling out of Cas' lips, just kept nodding. She just kept nodding like a buffoon. A buffoon caught in her self hatred that she didn't want to see how happy Cas was. Didn't want to see what she didn't cause. 

Cas put a hand on Meg's shoulder, immediately grounding her. Preparing her for the next few crushing words to come out of Cas' mouth. 

"And when I got to my seat, next to Dean," a blush rising over Cas' ears, "He smiled this beautiful perfect smile… and it just felt like it was for me!"

Meg heard the sound of her heart break then. It sounded like the words "beautiful smile," and it smelled of honey and coffee grounds. It was the unrehearsed lines of a play never to be finished, because the author blacked out the last act. It tasted like stale movie theatre popcorn and a glass of milk that is expected to be pop, which is promptly spit out across the front seats, but the entire theatre is just emptiness, and the movie is a wretched life on repeat. 

The last few words Meg remembered hearing say were about some godforsaken kiss, and something about soft lips, followed by "Goodnights." And then they are sharing their own goodnight kisses, and Meg is left alone on the couch of their shared living room.

For so long Meg had loved Cas. Knowing full well that they did not reciprocate this kind of love, Meg let herself believe that one day Cas might turn around and it would all be worth it. 

Her hopes welled into tears that night, falling from the same eyes which held so much adoration for the person who just broke her heart. Her first love. 

With a heavy heart now weighing her mind, her thoughts steered to the darkest desires she had. As she cried herself to sleep that night, her final conclusion was that she had to make Cas see how much of dick this new guy would become. No, she had to make Cas believe that this new person just is a dick. "That'll teach Cas."


End file.
